Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Randomize
