i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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