I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
