i think my mom watched the whole time
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
