Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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