you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
