I molested 6 butterflies tonight
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
