dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
