I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
