evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
i would punch a child for taco bell
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
