The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
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