your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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