She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
