His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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