she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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