Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I look better un-naked...
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Randomize
