How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
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