need another drink. this is the easiest way
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
