hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
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