I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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