addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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