I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
