I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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