She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
