Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize