I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
