38 yer olds are good kisserssss
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
