dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
