Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
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