He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
