We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
