god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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