you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
