hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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