C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Randomize
