Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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