we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
