Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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