did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
His nipple licking is glorious
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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