Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
