He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
