singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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