there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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