just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
