Church boner. Awkwardddd
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
