If i come over, it means nothing
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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