Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
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