That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
