I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
