My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
